Ce & Dan Return

One Day More!

I'm at Jessewave's today--Caesar and I are playing a silly game and we'd be happy if you stopped by to keep us company. Tomorrow is Caesar and Dan day! At last, at last. I'll post the buy link tomorrow, for now you can read an excerpt here.

I have one more post before the holiday--and there are a slew of books being given away (mine, too!) all over the internet. Mandy, DIK, Wave...books everywhere. I hope you win one or two.

I'll be back. I'm dashing off to tick a few items off my ginormous list!

xo

LB

Dudleytown ARC

 Pop by myCover Dudleytown facebook page and check out my Dudleytown ARC giveaway

October 29th marks the release of my latest Connecticut inspired love story from Aspen Mountain Press. Dudleytown is a spooky Halloween shortstory that's guaranteed to thrill and arouse. 


College sophomore Alexander Strauss has one rule: no messing around with straight guys. Especially not his mouthwatering roommate, Shannon. When their ride share drives off the side of a mountain, the two young men find themselves deep in an uninhabited forest searching for their missing friend. Wandering the famously cursed grounds of Dudleytown, Alex figures something truly unholy must be at play, because only insanity could tempt him to break his cardinal rule.


Exciting Excerpt from Dudleytown!


Shannon raked his fingers through his hair again. “Where the hell did he go? How could he get this far ahead of us?

“Maybe he’s behind us.” I cupped my mouth and hollered, “Ricky!” and just as quickly, regretted screaming into the bleak emptiness of the mountains. Something just felt wrong here. Something that kept the two of us quiet. My big voice carried on the wind and it only made us more desperately alone.

A twig snapped and I smacked Shannon in the shoulder. “Quit freaking me out.”

“Quit being so jumpy.” Shannon checked the ground like an Indian scout and pointed. “He went this way.”

Naturally, Ricky had chosen the grassy trail that disappeared into a tunnel of trees and rocks. I expected to see a line of breadcrumbs, but all I got was a few chunks of deer shit and some footprints. “Great. Of course, how do you know that’s from Ricky’s sneakers and not someone else’s?”

“I don’t. Maybe it’s one of those escaped convicts.”

The flashlight blinked out and I choked. “Knock it off, Shannon. You’re not funny.”

“Are you kidding me?” Shannon banged the flashlight against his hand. The light sputtered and then failed altogether. My hands went from adrenaline-numb to ice cold as Shannon fumed beside me. “Can you believe this shit?”

“Yes. I can believe anything right now. I can believe in the tooth fairy at this point. I even believe that you packed extra batteries.” My voice cracked as night swallowed the air.

“These are my extra batteries.”

My shoulder ached as if the temperature dropped another five degrees. I slid my backpack off, found my nuts and glared at the spot where Shannon should be. I willed the flashlight to work. Work. Work. When that failed, I let my eyes adjust to the gloom. “You’re always so prepared—"

His heavy hand landed on my sore shoulder.

“Ow.”

“Shhh. Be still. Do you hear that?” Shannon yanked me against his chest. I was too surprised to do anything but dangle there until he led me into the thicket by the hand. He pulled me behind him close enough that my groin snuggled his ass with every step.

Except for the backpacks knocking me in the face, and the blood on my hands…in any other circumstance, this would have been a dream come true.

Oh, fuck it. This was a dream come true. We were reenacting a moment straight from one of my favorite porno flick Boys & Bears.

Yes. This was absolutely the worst time to think about sex, but his calloused fingers gripped my wrist and he dragged me into the underbrush and holy shit, his firm ass wiggled against my firming crotch. I got hard—I wasn’t proud of it. My dick stiffened like a good not-so-little soldier as his hips kissed my groin and, once we stopped, his lips brushed my ear. “Shhh.”

Torture. Absolute fucking torture.


I closed my eyes and stifled a moan. In that movie, the big guy, Duke, had fucked his little camping buddy against a sturdy tree trunk while owls hooted and coyotes howled in the distance. Naturally, they’d remembered to bring lube and condoms, and through good lighting and amazing balance they’d shucked their clothes (except somehow they’d left their boots on) and screwed as furiously as animals against the rough bark of a towering oak. Or maple. And no one had gotten a splinter in the ass.

Even so, I had tweezers...

But that wasn’t on the program for this evening—so I got a grip.

We had a minor skirmish over who was shielding who. We could have alerted the mayor two towns north of here with the ruckus we made getting ourselves hidden behind our own sturdy tree trunk, until Shannon finally wriggled behind me—his crotch ground into my ass. He clapped onto my biceps with his strong hands. “Stay put, Allie.”

How could he be oblivious to the sexual nature of our position? I mean, really? He was on top of me, holding me and speaking in that rumbly voice. The way he said my name…Allie…it was like sex talk. It was all I could do not to slide my hands around his hips and drag him against me.

Our bags lay in the dirt, and I focused on staying alert and useful instead of being mind-blowingly turned on. The minutes slogged by, but the night sounds were a great distraction. Chirps, ticks, snaps and crackles. Wild animals. Wings. The wind blew endlessly through the treetops and pine cones landed in the dirt like shrapnel. Shannon’s breath waxed and waned, fluttering into my hair. My heart beat…heartily…and his chest pressed the full length of my back.

Frankly, he was a little closer than he needed to be.
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Some news...

Coming May 14th  from Aspen Mountain Press Men of Smithfield


They were star-crossed lovers from the start.

Former television sensation and renowned world explorer, Holden Worthington, is held prisoner by crippling agoraphobia. When a sexy young laborer arrives to set his property to rights, a ray of light begins to glimmer in Holden's dark and narrow world. A grisly discovery throws the two men together, and Holden finds his world turned inside out-- by his inappropriate longing for his awkward, young employee, Adam Morgan, and by a threat growing around them both. All of Smithfield believes Holden has something to hide, and Adam is determined to bring everything--including Holden Worthington--into the open.



My latest, and for now my last, Smithfield story. This is the spring edition and somehow I managed to finish it in time. Miraculous. *g*

If you'd like to see LB Gregg/me next week I'll be attending
RT's Book Lovers Convention. You can find me at the E-BOOK, INDEPENDENT PUBLISHER, MULTIMEDIA AND GRAPHIC FICTION EXPO & E-BOOK & INDY AUTHOR event on Friday April 30, 2010 from 4-6.

I'll have chocolate.

Otherwise, pop by
the blog. That's where I usually hang out.



That 100 Book Thingie

Please note: the instructions have changed.


This list has been floatin around the intertubes for a while.

Below is a list of the The 100 Most Popular Books on The Library Thing. I’ve altered it cuz I cannot for the life of me understand why some craptastic pop books are on this list and not more hearty reads like, er, Hardy or Voltaire or even Faulkner…What the hell? And where is the Marquis de Sade?

So I’ve read over half, started another 10 or so and NOW for your viewing pleasure..I’m inserting books that are as plausible as the others on this stupid pretentious Oprah inspired list.

RED are books I'm kicking off the list.
Blue I've read.
Green are the books I'm adding. I mean this isn't a scientific study or anything.

1. Harry Potter and the sorcerer's stone by J.K. Rowling (32,484)

2. Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (Book 6) by J.K. Rowling (29,939)
3. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (Book 5) by J.K. Rowling (28,728)
4. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (Book 2) by J.K. Rowling (27,926)
5. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (Book 3) by J.K. Rowling (27,643)
6. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (Book 4) by J.K. Rowling (27,641)

2-4~I much prefer the Bartimaeus Trilogy by Jonathan Stroud OR the fabulousness that is Terry Pratchett’s Tiffany Aching series. So PPPPFFFTTTT.

5&6~AA Milne’s When We Were Very Young AND Now We Are Six. These were the standards of my childhood and the reading launch for my children. CLASSICS!

7. The Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown (23,266) BLECH

8. The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkien (21,325)

9. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (Book 7) by J.K. Rowling (20,485) NO
Let’s substitute The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants!

10. 1984 by George Orwell (19,735)

11. Pride and Prejudice (Bantam Classics) by Jane Austen (19,583) I really loved this movie with Colin Firth!

12. The catcher in the rye by J.D. Salinger (19,082) Brilliant…but I do like Franny and Zoey.

13. To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee (17,586) LOVE THIS. And the movie made me fall in love with Gregory Peck.

14. The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald (16,210)

15. The lord of the rings by J.R.R. Tolkien (15,483)

16. The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini (14,566) I loathe this book. And what’s up with it being here? How ‘bout The Diary of Anne Frank?

17. Jane Eyre (Penguin Classics) by Charlotte Bronte (14,449)

18. The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time by Mark Haddon (13,946) This is an incredible book.

19. Life of Pi by Yann Martel (13,272) OR the Tao of Pooh? No? k.

20. Animal Farm by George Orwell (13,091) Visions of 9th grade!

21. Angels & demons by Dan Brown (13,089) Not a fricken clue what this is.

22. Brave New World by Aldous Huxley (13,005) Soma?

23. Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte (12,777) Heathecliffe! And that Ralph Fiennes…oh yum.

24. One Hundred Years of Solitude (Before it was a damned Oprah's Book Club) by Gabriel Garcia Marquez (12,634) This writer is obsessed with enema’s and rabies. YAY!

25. The Fellowship of the Ring (The Lord of the Rings, Part 1) by J.R.R. Tolkien (12,276) Lots of booring poems.

26. Memoirs of a Geisha by Arthur Golden (12,147)

27. The Time Traveler's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger (11,976) It’s on my shelf.

28. The Two Towers (The Lord of the Rings, Part 2) by J.R.R. Tolkien (11,512) More boring poems…but I love this series.

29. The Odyssey by Homer (11,483) Wait, didn’t George Clooney do this movie? O Brother Where Art Thou?

30. Catch-22 by Joseph Heller (11,392) Visions of 10th grade.

31. Slaughterhouse-five by Kurt Vonnegut (11,360) Love Vonnegut. Love. Er. Visions of 9th greade.

32. Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoyevsky (11,257) I always get this confused with In Cold Blood by Truman Capote. Why is that?

33. The return of the king by J.R.R. Tolkien (11,082) Everyone lives happily ever after and more boring poems.

34. Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury (10,979) Burn baby!

35. American Gods: A Novel by Neil Gaiman (10,823) I need to read more Gaiman…I tend to go for Christopher Moore.

36. The chroni-what-cles of Narnia by C. S. Lewis (10,603) Ok most of em.

37. The hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy by Douglas Adams (10,537) I loved these but why are they here? I sub. Pratchett.

38. Lord of the Flies by William Golding (10,435) Piggy!

39. The lovely bones: a novel by Alice Sebold (10,125) My BigGirl loved this. Weep. Weep. Let's read The Princess Bride instead!

40. Ender's Game (Ender, Book 1) by Orson Scott Card (10,092) Great book but this dude has turned into an obnoxious homophobe so I iz pissed at him.

41. The Golden Compass (His Dark Materials, Book 1) by Philip Pullman (9,827) Not. How about some other EPIC journey for kids. Like, IDK, Frank Miller’s Dark Knight!

42. Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch by Neil Gaiman AND TERRY PRATCHETT. Dang it. Cuz I loves me some Pratchett!!!(9,745)

43. Dune by Frank Herbert (9,671) Why? Why? Why?

44. Emma by Jane Austen (9,610)

45. Frankenstein by Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley (9,598) I really think I did read this. I can’t remember. Or maybe I saw some weird movie years ago about Mary Shelley and Byron and Percy taking hallucinogens and wandering around some castle…IDK.

46. The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn (Bantam Classics) by Mark Twain (9,593) Brilliant book. Just brilliant.

47. Anna Karenina (WAY before Oprah's Book Club) by Leo Tolstoy (9,433) OK so why is Oprah taking credit for Tolstoy? I read this while hitchhiking through France back when I was a hippie. I swore off classics after the last page.

48. Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell by Susanna Clarke (9,413) Er. No clue. Looks import-ant-o.

49. Middlesex: A Novel by Jeffrey Eugenides (9,343) - TBR Pile Not.

50. Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West by Gregory Maguire (9,336) Quelle Fuck? Someone tell me why The Fountainhead or Atlas Shrugged is not here?? WHY??? I WANT TO KNOW!

51. Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov (9,274) I read it. It was banned! I had to! And Anais Nin.

52. The Silmarillion by J.R.R. Tolkien (9,246) Oh for crying out loud, enough with the Tolkien. What about Ray fucking Bradbury? The Martian Chronicles?

53. The Iliad by Homer (9,153) Yeah what ever.

54. The Stranger by Albert Camus (9,084) Ok I liked it. And No Exit oh and Waiting for Godot! AH the great existentialists...zzz...

55. Sense and Sensibility (Penguin Classics) by Jane Austen (9,080) er. YES (no)

56. Great Expectations (Penguin Classics) by Charles Dickens (9,027) I loved it but last night I saw the South Park version and it is far superior to the original.

57. The Handmaid's Tale: A Novel by Margaret Atwood (8,960) Butter as lotion!

58. On the Road by Jack Kerouac (8,904) Hey do you remember when Fonzie and Richie were hanging out with the beatniks? And did Potsie sing in that one? I can’t remember
.
59. Freakonomics [Revised and Expanded]: A Rogue Economist Explores the Hidden Side of Everything by Steven D. Levitt (8,813) Yes. I'm right on this one. As soon as I finish those two Joey Hill's on my shelf.

60. The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint Exupery - (8,764) Frenchy! Why is Les Miserables ( that 90000000 page book) not on here?? Why is Candide not on here? Voltaire????? C’mon.

61. The lion, the witch and the wardrobe by C. S. Lewis (8,421) Total Classic.

62. A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L'Engle (8,417) Loved it. And she used to live up the road from me!

63. Neverwhere by Neil Gaiman (8,368)

64. The Grapes of Wrath (Centennial Edition) by John Steinbeck (8,255) Good call.

65. Little Women by Louisa May Alcott (8,214) Another good call. And Ann of Green Gables.

66. The Name of the Rose: including Postscript to the Name of the Rose by Umberto Eco (8,191) sitting on my shelf since college. Doh. See this is where I'd put Peyton Place by Grace Metalious. Or even The Beans of Egypt Maine.

67. The Scarlet Letter by Nathaniel Hawthorne (8,169) A is for Adultery!

68. Moby Dick by Herman Melville (8,129) Ok half. It’s booooorrrriiiinnnnggg

69. The complete works by William Shakespeare (8,096) I was a theatre major. YES. I read I think every play EXCEPT: Julius Ceasar ….

70. Guns, Germs, and Steel: The Fates of Human Societies by Jared Diamond (7,843) this is on my shelf next to The World is Flat. zzszzzzz...Hey. Let’s substitute this with Who Moved My Cheese?!

71. Me Talk Pretty One Day by David Sedaris (7,834) ?

72. The Poisonwood Bible by Barbara Kingsolver (7,829) The snake. It’ll bite you. I love that this girl can read, write and speak backwards. Talk about your paradigm shift.

73. Hamlet (Folger Shakespeare Library) by William Shakespeare (7,808) loves it. But I love Lear more.

74. Of Mice and Men (Penguin Great Books of the 20th Century) by John Steinbeck (7,807) Another good call.

75. A Tale of Two Cities (Penguin Classics) by Charles Dickens (7,793) Or as my dad always said: A Sale of Two Titties!

76. The Alchemist (Plus) by Paulo Coelho (7,710) My kid read this. I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings.

77. The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath (7,648) Back when I was dressed in black. Barrel. Of. Laughs.

78. The Picture of Dorian Gray (Barnes & Noble Classics Series) (Barnes & Noble Classics) by Oscar Wilde (7,598) Ah. Shades of 11th grade. And the movie had a young Alec Guinness (OBI-WAN!)

79. The Elements of Style, Fourth Edition by William Strunk (7,569) Did I read it from cover to cover? No. I used it. And should use it more often.

80. Love in the Time of Cholera by Gabriel Garcia Marquez (7,557) More enemas and rabies!

81. The Subtle Knife (His Dark Materials, Book 2) by Philip Pullman (7,534)

82. Atonement: A Novel by Ian McEwan (7,530) TBR Pile

83. The Brothers Karamazov by Fyodor Dostoyevsky (7,512) I always think that this is the Cherry Orchard by Chehkov.

84. The Secret Life of Bees by Sue Monk Kidd (7,436) I liked this.

85. Dracula by Bram Stoker (7,238)

86. Heart of Darkness (Dover Thrift Editions) by Joseph Conrad (7,153)

87. A Clockwork Orange by Anthony Burgess (7,055) YES

88. Don Quixote by Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra (7,052)

89. The amber spyglass by Philip Pullman (7,043) No clue. The World According to Garp.

90. A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man (Penguin Classics) by James Joyce (6,933) Here’s the Joyce we all managed to read because who the hell could read Finnegan’s Wake?

91. The Unbearable Lightness of Being: A Novel (Perennial Classics) by Milan Kundera (6,901) Wasn’t this also a movie back in the late 80’s or early 90’s

92. Siddhartha by Hermann Hesse (6,899) On my shelf. Uh. Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance?

93. Neuromancer by William Gibson (6,890) This is an excellent book and coined the vernacular we use regarding cyberspace. Although at one point we had this on tape with Gibson reading it and it was dreadful.

94. The Canterbury Tales (Penguin Classics) by Geoffrey Chaucer (6,868)

95. Persuasion (Penguin Classics) by Jane Austen (6,862)

96. Anansi Boys by Neil Gaiman (6,841) Hey. I ‘d also love to see something like Grendel on this list.

97. The Historian by Elizabeth Kostova (6,794)

98. Angela's Ashes: A Memoir by Frank McCourt (6,715) no. A People's History of the United States: 1492- Present by Howard Zinn.

(99. A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius by Dave Eggers (6,708) What a great title. It's on my shelf.

100. The Prince by Niccolo Machiavelli (6,697) Ok this should be on there. And I should do more than read the little notes thingie.
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